Monday, January 30, 2012

1 Year Ago

Who knew that last year, around this time God would be bringing everything together behind the scenes?

On our end he was finalizing paperwork, putting our picture in the hands of a social worker we had never met, allowing our case worker to talk us up as being "her pick" for two children. He was working in us, and even though we had no clue what was about to happen we spent that weekend putting last minute details together on our house....we worked with goals in mind, talked about our children, what they may look like, how old, what their names would be. I have never told anyone but Adam this but I knew that I would have a child named "Goober"...God gave me that name...I think he gave it to me to cling to and to have a name to pray for even though I couldn't picture a face. We were HOPEFUL!

On their end he was allowing their family to turn from them, they were about to see how they could be both  someone else's burden but our greatest joy. He was allowing them to see glimpses of him through the promise of a new family. He was allowing their heart to break, but hopefully letting the right people give them promises of hope. He was allowing Goober to long for a daddy so that Adam would become his hero. He was allowing them to miss their mom but promising them that a forever mommy was on the way. They were LONGING!

Even though we didn't get the call until midnight on Tuesday, February 1st about these two sweet children who needed a home QUICKLY...God was already working in the hearts of Adam and I (it had to be God that persuaded our hearts to say yes that quickly and that willingly), our case worker (who promoted us over two other families), their case worker( who was preparing to take them from their home), our CPS worker ( who we had to win over, she wasn't convinced that were legit based on our age and inexperience with children) and their lawyer (who had been representing them for over 2 years and had seen them through several homes). God sure did have a plan for these 4 Harvells....can't wait to see what he will do next in our lives :). I pray that I am taken back to that midnight call whenever I have moments of disbelief or need clarity.

On a side note, even though its been almost a full year since their Homecoming Goob still doensn't have 100% faith in our family. Adam got on him to yesterday and then explained how we discipline him because we love him. Goober's reply was " and if I am bad, I have to go live at another house". Adam's heart broke. We realize that things will take time to truly sink in with Goober...we kinda thought those days of insecurity are gone. When we explained to him at dinner that he will never ever be asked to leave our home ( I told him he could live with me until he is dead :0), we also told him that his birth certificate list us at his parents and no one can take him from us....well that was a trigger..never know what will trigger a memory for him. He told us that he missed his mom and started crying, he said she left him because she needed to go hang out with friends. Then he said that he couldn't say something really bad. We told him to say whatever he needed to and he said (with big tears) that his grandpa died because he got drunk and smoked cigarettes and he had to get his toes cut off. He said that at the funeral he had orange eyes and that that was the only grandpa he had ever had.
Then he talked about a foster family who didn't want him, how the brother was mean and lied about Goob's behavior to make him leave. 
In all of this, it was good for him to talk...he doesn't talk unless somethings triggers him and then we get an earful of things that normally make us all hurt. However, God is sovereign and gave our kiddos two sets of grandparents and 4 great grandmas and 4 great grandpas! He also put him in a home where Goob could be the oldest and those fears of older brothers aren't there but instead are replaced by two pretty neat uncles and several older boys (mom's students) who think the world of Goob. He gave him a mom and dad who enjoy time with their kiddos and even though they go out with their friends, they always come home to kiss their babies.
Its an awesome thing to see how God has redeemed and is still redeeming those hurts from my boys past.

Ephesians 1:7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
Colossians 1:14 In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins:
Psalms 49:8 (For the redemption of their soul is precious, and it ceaseth for ever:)
Psalms 71:23 My lips shall greatly rejoice when I sing unto thee; and my soul, which thou hast redeemed.

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