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Sunday, September 25, 2011

Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb

I think I jinxed Goober's good behavior with that post I wrote recently praising him.
Friday was no good. He was in a foul mood when he got to my classroom and was in tears most of the afternoon....he knew he disappointed me. However, it just got worse when his teacher and I spoke once we got home and I found out other things that have been repeatedly happening. Everything she said that has been happening is a product of his past...every little sterotypicial, warned us about it in class, product of coming from an abusive (in several ways) thing. I cried so hard for him that I gave myself a headache. I had to tell her that she can't be lenient with him but that she needs to understand why he acts out. We've gotta nip this behavior in the butt and fast, but we also have to show him grace and show him that the behavior he saw others partake in is not what the Lord wants from us. He knew that he was in deep trouble when his teacher called so he went straight to his room during the phone call.
I went in there and just took one look at his sweet little face and just sat on the bed and cried and held him for the longest. I want that pain and those memories he has to just somehow seep over onto me and to leave him for good. I told him that I was crying for him and because I couldn't save him from those bad situations sooner. He got it, he looked at me and said " my mom was bad, she hit me but you talk to me". I told him that I know everything about his past (something we haven't shared before) and that whether he ever told me evrerything or not that I knew. I told him that his past will not define his future and that Jesus died so that we have clean slate. I reminded him of Steven Curtis Chapman's testimony...we had listened to it on the way to school one day earlier this week. We talked about how his (chapman) family took a tragedy and are just now findings ways to see God's glory in it and find things to be joyous about. We applied that to his situation and how all those times that he was with his mom where he was scared, had to protect himself, had to see dispicable things....that God has a purpose for that and that God can redeem that and turn Goobs life into a joyful celebration of God's grace....how that is already happening.
I told him that I cry for him because I know that God has a hold of his heart but that sometimes he doens't let that show to others. He cried with me for a while...but most of it was rethinking memories. He also asked me if his mom was going to hell because of how she acted. His exact words were " if you don't marry one person, but you marry lots and if you hit lots of people and say mean words then you don't have eternal life". Adam took this one over at dinner devotion and told Goober that his mom has the same chance as we do to go to Heaven, but that God is the only one who knows her heart and that we should pray for her.

This was a huge night....Goob admitted to us lots of things and told me stories that make me want to track her down and repay wrong for wrong. His stories make him cry and make him curl up. He told me that he likes that Dad and I are married and that he doesn't have to worry about us hitting each other or him, especially in the face. He had tons of remorse for his behavior at school and prompty wrote 3 apology letters...those made my cry too...go figure. He did spend the night in his room after dinner, thinking about his clean slate and what he is going to do to change some behaviors.
He really does have the sweetest heart, he always tells me thank you for the smallest things and if I am mad or sad he is always comforting me. He is a great athlete and impresses Adam everyday as they toss the football and practice skateboarding. He knows the bible and he so desperately wants to know more and more about God. Please pray for him, I think his life is going to be a great testimony to the redeeming power of Christ but I know that there are some hurdles for him. As he gets older and begins to digest things he saw as a small child I know there will be more acting out. Pray for Adam and I to have the right words, to be godly in our guidance and in our discipline and that Goob will come to know Christ as his savior very soon.

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