Rough Day

The last couple of days have been kinda off...we are still super tired from our drive back from Alabama and with so much to do neither Adam nor I can catch up on sleep. We also got the kid's full history ( FINALLY ) and have spent lots of time pouring over the binders...A LOT! None of it is good, not anything...until you see in late January where they start looking for a new set of parents and about a week later our name comes into play. I am not singing our praises but just stating that God had a plan for the four of us all along.

I became so irate while reading their past, especially Goob's. I of course can't speak a word of it but believe me when I tell you that he has been through things that he definitely didn't deserve to go through and he has seen things that I will never see. He is such a good kid to have a past like he has.

I also realized through reading this their mom is not the villain I had painted in my mind. I think she was lost, lonely and at the time she gave them up was really trying to give them a better life. She didn't help the situation ever and she didn't make a lot of good or healthy choices but at least she realized that giving them a chance with a family who wanted them was something she had to do.We always talk very highly of their mom to them but now I can be more sincere and thankful that she gave me two great kiddos.

On top of having their history in my head Goob's teacher wanted to talk with me before school this morning. He has only lost his sticker twice this year, both times for pushing, and we always make him apologize the next day. However, she wanted to talk with me because Goob is having a hard time making friends..mostly because he isn't confident. He likes one little girl in particular but during recess she wants to play with other kids in the 1st grade. Goob gets mad and doesn't think anyone else likes him. The kids in his class don't like how mad he gets so they in turn don't play with him either. Adam and I had noticed that when we take him to the park ( which is quite often) he will only play with us. So as she was talking to me about all this I look over and Goob is sitting by himself playing on the mat and the other kids are talking to each other and saying "good morning" and I just lost it. I mean I was a mess. His teacher started saying " oh my, he is soo good in math and his reading is improving in huge strides, honey, this is fixable"...and I was just upset because after reading his history I want to undo all the bad with hugs and kisses and I want everyone to love him. I want him to have 50 good things to replace every bad thing that has ever happened to him. Goober didn't like that I was upset and I couldn't look at him without sobbing. I know that I can't use his past as a crutch for him or he will do the same thing, and I can't assume that every other kid at school has a perfect past either. But, gosh darn it, I just want him to have a fun childhood and excel and succeed. I went back to my classroom and got out my emotions before my first class. Another teacher came in, who I am starting to consider a mentor in every part of my life ( teaching, marriage, children, Christian) and we talked about her older son who hardly ever got a sticker in 1st grade and yet when he graduated high school the teachers sang his praises. I also realized that I need to put this all in perspective. We have had the kids a little over six weeks now, and we can't erase or change anything in that amount of time. They are both loving, healthy, affectionate, smart, precious kids and everything else will just fall into place in God's time.

Please don't read this and think that I am hoping for Goob to be Mr. Popular or that I want eternal sympathy for his past but everything is just so fresh on my mind. It makes me sick to think about how he lived the past 6 years.

So, to teach Goober how to make friends we are going to start taking one friend every couple of weeks to the park, close to our school, and play for about an hour after school..just them and Goob. We will rotate friends...I actually teach alot of 7th grade girls who have younger siblings who are Goober's age..their parents know me and I think they would trust me. I hope that will help build his confidence in knowing that he can make and keep friends and it will give him some good relationships to build on.

On a happy note, Goob told me today that even when he is 13 he wants to be in Mrs. Barnes class..I mean what a Godsend she is!!!!

I also witnessed the best dance contest ever tonight. We have been watching Happy Feet so Dad and Goob had a hard core "happy feet style" dance off. Goob danced so hard that his pants fell off ( dont worry I have the video to post) . After that Adam danced so hard that his pants "fell off" :). So then they both danced in their underwear until they were sweaty and had to collapse...it was hysterical. Then Goob said " hey dad, we are twinkies, we both have holes in our underwear!!". Love that kid!!!

Update on Ribbit-she is saying nose, mouth and eyes and pointing to the correct body part 75% of the time. She also says "yellow and love you"-thanks Gramps, and has decided that holding mom's hand in the car is the only way she can happily travel :). Mom doesn't mind at all!